When I first met my partner in crime niether of us was looking for anything serious. I was just coming out of a six year relationship that ended with a nine month marriage. From the first time we talked on the phone there was instant chemistry. It was probably the best first phone conversation I had ever had. He was hilarious and intelligent but with a little edge. The conversation flowed smoothly. This boy made me throw my head back with laughter. I couldn't wait to meet him.
Our first date did not disapoint.. there were sparks everywhere. And although my gut told me that I was going to get my heart broken I couldn't leave him alone. For the first few months we agreed to see other people in an effort to keep things casual. We had a long running joke about how were FWB's which quickly became BFFWB's. Despite our efforts to see other people and keep things casual whithin six months the L-word was being bounced around. And three months after that I was preggers with our son!
I'm not going to lie and say that everything was great and that we went from FWB's to a cute instant family whithin a year. It wasn't. Things were very tense between us the entire time I was pregnant. But when our beautiful son made his way into the world things slowly began to change. Our son has made us better people. And in turn made our relationship much stronger.
However despite the fact that I relish in the time that the three of us spend together...I do sometimes wish that we had a more traditional set up. Granted I don't necesarily want a ring since I've already been down that road. But we do not even live together. For the most part this arrangement works for me. I like having control of the remote and not cooking dinner every night. But sometimes I just want him around more. And there is our son. Sometimes I worry that he will be negatively affected by his parents not living together even if we do have a happy loving relationship. Believe me I have spent alot of time reflecting on our unorthodox set up. But I keep coming back to the fact that there is so much more good than bad in our relationship. And the truth is that since life is a journey and a progression I may not always feel that this is the most healthy arrangement.
As I move through life and try to make sense of my own history of relationships and those of others around me I would like to explore alternative family arrangements. I would like for this to be a space for others to think, question and explore how we can build healthy happy families..no matter what they may look like.